What Recession???

Movies, tv shows and all sorts of reports surfacing over the internet and the more traditional avenues of spreading news (newspaper, radio, magazines) have been bombarding us with doom and gloom on our economy. Foreclosures, job loss and such seem to support this claim but I must say that for a resident alien like me(I wonder why they still question the existence of aliens!) America hasn't struck rock bottom.

Let me tell you why I think things haven't changed much. Check out craigslist and you'll see all sorts of free stuff in appliances, furniture and everything in-between. Walk around your neighborhood and you will see couches, tvs, computers, and all sorts of things left out. Go to the Philippines and all these stuff won't stay out for long. Here, it is a sore in the eye to have items left out. They're garbage...although it is still treasure to some. Notice how many garage/yard sales are out there? Hold on, it's not a support to the recession obsession but a simple over abundance of stuff that's just left gathering dust. Whatever money you get , it would probably just be enough for some dollar menu unless you really have a lot of junk.

I'm thinking that if I were to go home to the Philippines and start a Pennysaver version ...wait...that reminds me of how much junk mail we get. Advertisement of groceries, stores and their "discounts." Everything out there telling us, the consumer, that we're going to get our money's worth. Paper waste....not to mention the waste in food. How can you say America is in recession when there is no change happening in these areas? Don't tell me that it hasn't changed because the people in power don't want change. Believe me, change happens when it is necessary. Remember how they say that invention is the creation of necessity? Such is change in my opinion.

There's another American thing that I think tells me why there's no such thing as recession. Those water fountains still hold money. Sure, it's probably mostly pennies, several dimes, nickels and a few quarters. But, I'd say that tossing of coin would probably be a fond memory if things were really hard on Americans. Don't you think that the theme parks would probably decline in number of visitors? Someone might argue that movies and other attractions, have even sky-rocketed because people want to escape from the reality of hard times. I would think people would start planting in their own backyard and start cooking their meals again if there's really this money issue. Unless of course there is an epidemic of spending that seriously claim most Americans. This I would gladly have to agree on because credit card debt is something that many face.

Let's look at more established institutions here like Goodwill or Ebay. On one hand there is a solution to unwanted property while on the other one makes profit. But what are these items? Material stuff that is expendable. You'd even be surprised at what people are willing to pay for certain items and even go to extra lengths just to claim things that become their prized possessions.

That's just it...nothing has changed since I've been here for almost a decade now. People spend, incur debt, acquire things they really don't need and then try to make some profit out of these items just to get other junk.

Matthew 6:20 tell us to lay up treasures in heaven. Do we really trust God in this "economic crisis" that the country is having? Or do we turn to good old food cravings and entertainment to deal with things? Eat-all you can, super-sized food, tons of media attractions and a host of wonderful events like concerts at the beach,park, library and many others that are even free...they are still but a fleeting source of happiness.

The recession I am afraid of is that of real people. With the emergence of social net-working sites, chat, texting and email; in the fast development of modern technology in our medium of communication, there still seems to be a recession in
good relationships. We hear more about identity theft, divorce, and some television programs even seem to glorify the life of a con artist.

Should we stop doing certain things in order to focus on working out relationships? I think not. Recession or no recession, we can live as luxurious as we want but we must always remember what the most important things in life are.And, as we most gladly would like to believe in(by having a number of "friends" on our list),it is in having real relationships, those that make us grow as individuals that really matter.

I pray that we all have an abundance of true friends, but most of all,may we always remember the Best Friend we have in Jesus.In Him there is really no such thing as recession. He owns everything, even you and me.

Teaching Violin

Just had to wipe off drool on this laptop from my baby who's now taking a nap. I missed his doctor's appointment yesterday...yup, my baby number three. Such is my life as a mom...forgetting things! So, before I forget what I thought of writing while trying to nap with my little one, I'm writing it down while the thoughts are still fresh in my head.

You see, I had a great violin lesson with my daughter last night. She came to me and asked to have violin lessons. She's turning 5 in July and we've had on and off lessons but lately she's been really doing well. I suppose having young beginners as students has caught her interest. She knows all the Twinkle Variation rhythms on the open A and E strings and we've started long bow strokes in preparation for the theme. Of course bow hold and violin posture is not up to par but I was amazed at how fast she's learning.

Having taught violin since 1994 I've had students ranging from 4 to 84. Recently my students took their CM(certificate of Merit) exams and did surprisingly well. I mean, of course I wanted them to do well but being the teacher that I am, I always see something that could be improved upon.

But that's not what I thought of writing. I wanted to share unforgettable moments that made me laugh as a teacher. But first let me tell you how my love of teaching began. In the summer of 1995, while I was taking my BM, my violin professor then asked me to teach for the music extension program of our College. That was the first time I really enjoyed teaching ... I didn't have schoolwork to think of and I didn't feel like I should be the one practicing instead of teaching violin basics to others.You see, teaching in Cavite felt more like a chore or obligation or a mission which I had to do.

In UP,while teaching that first summer, one of my adult beginners(a guy), whose name I surprisingly still remember, was concentrating so much in his playing that drool came out from his mouth and onto his violin. Yaiks! Must be one of his embarrassing moments.

Now my mom can't remember who it was(whether it was me or my brothers) but while having violin lessons in this small room at the music studio we studied at when we were kids, this foul odor came out of you-know-where and so Mrs B, our violin teacher, took out her perfume and started spraying.My experience with a student,on the other hand went beyond foul odor...one had constipation...nah, i didn't perform any weird maneuvers.I had my dad around to help assist but I think nature made its way.

My travels back and forth from Cavite(where I taught from 94 until before leaving for the US) to Manila on Sundays were very memorable as well. I did have some weird students. Maybe just peculiar ones since I just didn't quite understand their motives in doing certain things that weirded me out.

On the other hand I also met some students who've become friends. Others, I wish I'd kept in touch with. And still others I simply cherish for allowing me to have been part of their lives. Sadly, I'm already having trouble remembering all the names of my past students. I remember faces, I even remember pieces they asked me to teach them.

Teaching here in the US has been quite a different experience though.
Being in a position where I was already turning down teaching positions and having only select students take private lessons at home (back in the Philippines). It was a struggle to start again. While studying,(in Riverside and Michigan) my students were scarce. Besides, many prefer teachers who drive to their place. So I had a student whose mom picked me up from my aunt's (in Riverside) who incidentally still has one of my violin books.In Michigan, it was a bit intimidating to walk at the elementary school where I had to teach some students in Berrien Springs and I would see kids bigger and taller than me.

It was harder to start when I was pregnant or when I became a new mom...not that it's any easier now with three kids. I have just been blessed with great parents who support me.Without them I don't even know how I'd be capable of handling everyday stuff add to that teaching or performing.

Now that some of my former students are either pursuing Masters Degree, about to start College, College students...I realize how young I must've looked like to their parents back then. And I know that most of them had faith in my teaching more because I am my mom's daughter. You see, mom is my very first employer. I'm glad though that I started teaching early but I am also grateful that I had the opportunity to develop myself as a performer by taking post graduate studies. What I am learning most is how my teaching style has evolved because of the influence of my teachers and the master classes I've attended.

I have discovered too that because of some of my weaknesses as a student I have become a better teacher. I'm not the best in sight-reading and am not as outstanding in theory like my brothers but I know that I have the potential in being a great teacher because of the legacy my mom has passed on to me. It will be my greatest accomplishment though to see my kids develop as great musicians but more importantly to grow up as responsible adults who are honest, trust-worthy individuals.

Many of my students now have parents who are about my age...I guess as a teacher, I've become well aware of how time passes me by. Recital after recital, exams, lessons...I have yet to attend a student's wedding though to feel really old. But no matter what, I've come to love teaching. When my kids outgrown wanting to be around me, I'll continue to have children through my music and that's what I'll always cherish.

Just E-fied

I caught the blog-bug after watching “Julie and Julia.” Being a mother of three little ones, I thought a daily blog would be too demanding. Besides, it would be too much like a diary or journal. I’d be too self-absorbed in doing such.

I did have journals before in high school and part of college but I guess life caught up with me. Maybe, because my real life got to be more interesting or complicated I didn’t think I needed to write anymore. You see; no matter how boring a day is, or how uneventful, when I write about it, I am amazed by how interesting it appears to be. At least that’s how it seems in writing.

Even then, I was aware though of possible “exposure,” like the books I read that were either journals or letters of people who’ve now become famous…so I’ve become very conscious and really careful about what I write. But I still find myself being more vocal about things in writing and I tend to express myself more with not as much thought of what others might think.

I remember as a kid thinking about how mind-boggling it is to be able to speak. I guess, I was just starting to question how things work and speech bewildered me. It’s this other world I can’t seem to grasp. Writing on the other hand speaks worlds to me. Whether in books, letters, or a simple advertisement on a billboard words make more sense to me.

Words have the power to hurt or heal. I am more aware of this now that I am a mother. When we speak there is a gesture, a facial expression or a certain tone that adds to the meaning of what we say or do not say. In writing, interpretation is based solely upon the words and their meaning. Even with careful description of a raised voice, eyes glaring, hands flailing, and coupled with demeaning words; the sting of what was said is not the same.

At times “The pen is mightier than the sword,” but a spoken word has a life of its own. So, I shall be happy writing my dreams, my woes, and all the in-betweens of my life. But hopefully, I will write more about thanksgiving because that, I believe, is something we should always do--be thankful. Being grateful is never out of fashion; a heart full of thanks is worth writing about.

And so remind me if I fail to give out this message in each article I write. This message of hope and thanksgiving for a life that is blessed and full of love.If I don't make sense then don't forget I've been just e-fied :)

Filipino-American Orchestra in Los Angeles

*FASO FIlipino-American Symphony Orhcestra

The heart of the Matter: in reflection of FASO

One year might seem a long time but if we look at the orchestra

like giving birth to a baby then it is BUT a year. We're just learning to walk...

Despite being a quasi community orchestra, attendance was started and proper etiquette for being late or absent were imposed to help in the accountability of each member. It is not an acceptable practice to simply make the excuse of "Filipino time."

Now, those who come towards the end, close to each performance, are made sure to be people who are professionals. They are those who aren't simply sight-readers but musicians who have the musicality to perform the pieces chosen for each performance. There will always be hired musicians even if the orchestra

later on starts to have regular paid positions.

Youth orchestras like GYO and VYO require audition/membership fees so the money given to those who are considered amateur or "saling pusa" should be thankful that they are even given something. Complimentary tickets should actually be enough compensation. It would make more sense to give more payment to those who are making a living out of music so they have more reason to stay with the group.

Evaluations are but a way of "house cleaning" to dust off specs that don't matter to the untamed ear. In other words, it is necessary to the success of the group to make sure each member tries to be the best they can be and not ride along those who've been making the group sound good.

Any musician would understand that getting the right note and rhythm is not enough to make music. There is a quality that one aims for that cannot be taught in a group setting like an orchestra. If one seeks for such guidance then there are orchestras (and most especially private teachers) whose primary goal -- of the conductor-- would be to educate the members on such things.

We need to get real and think of our kababayans in the Philippines and those who are here who are more of the "cream of the crop" in this music world and not kid ourselves to think, say and act like we are the real deal. Yes, we are trying the best we can but we need to be aware of where we stand in the grand scale of things.

Before we can educate our audience we, the members, need to know these things. We run the risk of losing possible members who are more high caliber musicians if the dedicated but in-adequately trained members think they are good enough to represent Filipino-American musicians.

Now, considering all aspects, growth and development of the youth is of course important. Because of this, I personally see the value in having a Junior orchestra that would be associated with FASO. Of course, this doesn't mean that the main orchestra will not have youth as members nor will the Junior orchestra be exclusively for the young. The difference would be in the selection of pieces. Why? Because given the name, FASO, stands for repertoire that require musicians who can adequately deliver the requirements of each piece. It was not intended to be an orchestra where music is to be spoon-fed.

With all the orchestras around Los Angeles and the greater part of Southern California, FASO needs to know what it truly wants to represent. There is no question as to why we exist but there is a big question as to how this group will survive. It is a question of relevance to its community and what its role is especially for Fil-Am youth because no matter what the problems are in developing an orchestra, there is no question that the youth is our future.

Praising Growth in Philippine Violin Music

Has violin music in the Philippines gone sour? Are we lacking talent? Why haven't we produced a single violinist who's truly world renowned? Why don't we have an orchestra that is comparable to other countries?

These are some of the questions we, as musicians, ask ourselves. I believe that Filipinos have the ability to rise above any situation and have the adaptability, seasoned with a great amount of uniqueness, and heaps of support that will ultimately help us stand out and excel in anything and that includes the world of music.

Let's face it; classical musicians are not the only ones who struggle to be recognized. It not only takes talent and dedication but a great deal of marketing and loads of sponsorship to help a person or a group's career.

Before I propose a solution to the perceived inadequacy of Filipino talent and place responsibility to the government and politics in general I would like to enumerate some of the significant people and institutions in the Philippines I've come across with that have contributed not only to my appreciation, love and respect for the violin but have also continued to promote its existence in our small Philippine archipelago.

Here are some that I would like to mention:
I

Coke Bolipata- his concert series with the Pundaquit players and his program in Zambales , as well as his collaboration with other artists

Redentor Romero- bringing foreign musicians and foreign trained Filipino musicians, but a more lasting legacy are his arrangements for the Filipino violin repertoire, and his book "An American Affair" that chronicled his life as a Filipino musician.

Gilopez Kabayao- his contribution to violin literature and by touring the provinces, promoting violin music

Prof. Esmilla- whose tenacity and meticulous musicianship are well known among musicians whether as violin teacher or conductor

Joseph Esmilla- his violin concerts that challenge and encourage young violinists as well as his contemporaries who understand what it takes to take on solo recitals and concerts

Mr. Basilio "Billy" Manalo- has produced excellent violinists whose teaching was our connection to the Galamian-pedagogical legacy

Mr Arturo Molina- right hand of Mr Billy Manalo, his work as mentor and conductor has yet to be fully appreciated and recognized

Moises Caluya- an example of marginalized violin teachers who pay-forward the training gained from Philippine High School for the Arts (PHSA) and abroad

Amador Tamayo- producing quality violins and expert violin repair

II

Philippine High School for the Arts (PHSA)-providing government-support that includes training for aspiring musicians

Former first lady Imelda Marcos- for her support to the Arts, helping send scholars abroad and the establishment of Cultural Center of the Philippines(CCP) and PHSA

Ms Ingrid Sala-Sta Maria- bringing orchestra music to Cebu (by bringing musicians from Manila to help train students including Jeffrey Solares, also a PHSA alumnus)

Mrs. Arambulo- bringing excellence in music through her studio along with the Suzuki Teacher training and master classes that featured violinist Donnie Fernandez among others

Sister Mary Placid Abejo- her countless contribution to the development of the arts

Odette Alcantara-patron of the arts who opened her home to chamber concerts and recitals that allowed Filipino musicians, great and small, to showcase their talent.

Mrs. Rizalina Exconde-Buenaventura (Mrs. B)- her dedication in teaching

It may seem a bit strange to include some names and exclude others or to include some but have little to say. My intention in doing this is to show how a person might view violin history in the Philippines differently. In section I, some might question the inclusion of Moises Caluya, and possibly write off section II altogether. But, surely everyone would agree that preschool and elementary teachers deserve as much praise for what they do in training the young. This is why I am trying to balance out the classification of who's significant enough to make the roll call of being part of Philippine violin history. Let's take Mrs B for example; she would be brushed off since she has usually been referred to more as the wife of Col. Buenaventura, or the grandmother of violinist, Regina Buenaventura. I'm sure she is proud to be known as such but she can stand on her own. She has produced many violin students that could fill orchestras and in reality are members of the orchestra but more importantly are following her legacy as a dedicated teacher. She was such a fearless performer and gained respect for her musicality. But as some women violinists do, she got married (to a musical giant) and had children. In so doing, she had to work around her role as a wife and mother while trying to do as much as she can as a violinist.

One thing I learned well from my history professors (whether in music history or Philippine history), is not to believe everything that's written.

When it comes to violin music, our history in the Philippines is in its "Classical era." It is where things are starting to get standardized or should I say, formalized. Instead of harping on our past laurels and trying to distinguish who stands out and who's mediocre I would like to share a dream we can all share in actualizing.

I dream of a Philippines where not only Luzon has the monopoly of sought after music schools but even Visayas and Mindanao have competitive music programs where students would flock to. It would be similar to a music student's "dilemma" in having to decide whether to go East coast or West coast in the US and still have to figure out which particular school. Why? Because despite the Juilliard experience that is rightly glorified; both private and public schools in America (East or West) have highly qualified violin teachers.

I also dream of a Philippines where there is a Violin Teacher's Guild so students and teachers don't have to wait for National Music Competitions for Young Artists (NAMCYA) to have good, friendly competition. By doing this, I hope that violin teachers from different "camps" get together and share the joys of being able to produce great violinists. This is a possibility now because I believe there's hardly a violin teacher in the Philippine, I hope, who tells their student not to go to a certain teacher or school because of "bad history" with that person/institution. Instead, teachers can tell their students to try out a different teacher, someone who might be a better match or someone they can learn a different method from.

We have made progress by the simple example of outgrowth in music studios. And even if orchestra programs that were started have failed to continue because of sponsorship or other reasons, the seed planted by them is embedded in the hearts and minds of those who came in touch with these institutions (I am referring to the San Miguel Philharmonic Orchestra as well as the Cebu Symphony Orchestra and others).

We need to start and change our mindsets. Instead of saying "we're too colonial or there’s too much politics” just start with a simple "Yes we can!" The problem lies not entirely because of limited resources and lack of support from the government. Even in America there are schools where music is not part of the curriculum. In educational institutions, the budget cuts always affect the arts and sports. They are the first to be let go. But, with dedicated music teachers, music or more specifically, violin music can stay alive and can have a significant part in more schools all over Philippines. In addition to our more popular rondallas and bands our high school programs can have orchestras.

Having more teachers and violin students, local violin-making could expand or at least violin repair shops instead of having one reliable one for the whole country. Then, music stores could also hold more selection of music and violin products that include Filipino violin repertoire and recordings.

It wouldn't hurt to have a government that has great support for the arts but these days in an economic crisis when military expense is exhausted or maybe mismanaged, violin music continues to thrive. It doesn't take a musician to realize how much improvement there has been by seeing the numerous outgrowths of music studios and the development of music extension programs as well as smaller orchestras around the region. These orchestras may not have the trademark of big name violin greats in Filipino violin history but their sole existence marks progress.

This is not to say that we are at par with other Asian countries when it comes to the quality of music but from this aspect alone there has been tremendous amount of growth.

In order to dish out more suggestions or alternatives, let me single out PHSA. It has produced many great artists but to a violinist, the program needs to improve to be able to accommodate at least a string orchestra. This means, recruitment and acceptance of more music majors and less of other art fields. Why? Because in other countries like Taiwan and Korea regular high school programs give students the edge in whatever field they would like to pursue in College. For music that means, early training not only in performance but in Music Theory. To place upon a single institution like PHSA to take on the burden of bringing higher education in music is too much. It is a good thing that people like Sister Placid had the vision to support our great violin mentoring tandem, Manalo-Molina method, because musicians need the help of different establishments in order for us to focus in our music making.

If we have more violin teachers who are able to equip others then the truly talented ones will have a chance to learn and develop something that would otherwise be left to chance. It is a notable effort that some have taken upon themselves to bring music education to their respective circle of influence. Some have projects that include the donation of instruments, music materials and such. But I cannot stress enough the importance of having more violin teachers. Not those who teach simply as a means of income but teachers who have the calling to really pass on whatever knowledge they have gained to those who in turn could do the same for others, whether in the Philippines or to other parts of the world.

The Philippines is in need of better music libraries- we need more so that not only Universities/Colleges provide the best resources but maybe if a Patron of the Arts could start a collection (music recordings and books) where violin students of all ages can have access to music materials then learning would be on a more optimum level.

We can also have more music stores- we need to have a place where we know we can get music without having to resort to photocopying.

And best of all, with such stores more Filipino violin literature could be made available, like having more legal copies of works by Mr. Romero and Mr. Kabayao produced by our own publishers to be distributed and shared to the world. We have great composers of music and violin music by our very own Vallejo, Molina, Buenaventura, San Pedro, Kasilag and so on. But even our music schools have limited hard copies.

There is definitely a lack of knowledge or maybe lack of business sense on our part to at least make our violin literature a staple to the classical world of music. It shouldn't take a foreigner to take it upon themselves to gather all these great violin literature we have and make it part of a concert artist's repertoire.

Violin music in the Philippines has improved, maybe not the way we can recognize straight-way since there is no charismatic personality that attracts millions. But there is definitely talent, it would be unfair to use the parameters like using a big name school, number of solo concerts, or write-ups to gauge and compare Philippine born violinists. Not everybody chooses a solo career or even to study abroad for that matter. For many Filipinos, having a decent job that can help support the family is still what comes first. This is why others decide to go the route of playing for hotels/restaurants, or cruise ships. Violin teaching position in Philippine Universities is still limited, and setting up one's studio takes time and a whole lot of dough.

Violin teachers may not always be great performers, but by teaching, one changes a person's life. A regular teacher might have one really talented student for every 10 students taught but all the others whether they turn out to be decent string players or not, they become part of the force behind this network of music aficionados. But, to look at things in the perspective given me by Mrs. Buenaventura; she said that as a violinist, one continues to grow and learn throughout life and when the time comes that other jobs become obsolete in heaven (no more doctors and lawyers), she'd still be relevant being a musician. With more teachers like her in our Music schools, what Juilliard had with Dorothy Delay, I am certain that we will eventually produce great solo violinists that would become world renowned and our orchestras will have the high esteem that other countries have with their own. Our violin soloists would be the ones booked for concerts in other countries and the names of our schools and teachers will be the standard of comparison. This is a dream that will come true only if we believe it is possible and if we can learn to work together instead of tearing each other. We need to learn to help and support the teachers who make it possible for soloists to start their baby steps and by having these teachers who encourage students; many will become part of a great orchestra that will make the soloists shine even more.

America the Booty-full: a reflection on current events and my life

“From see to shining see!” That’s no mistake on my part…it’s just that I see things differently now after close to octo-years of being here in America. What can I say? Got three lovely kids, still love to write about this place I now call home.
Let’s start with how I used to think how special students (not special needs students but how special, pause, students) get treated here because they get all these acceptance letters and other welcome brochures from their school compared to how we had to go over UP (university of the Philippines) and check out to see if our names were included on the list of passers- those who qualified to be in College. Of course I had come in via audition process so maybe those who got in by acceptance got some lovin’ oh well. But get this…I didn’t really understand what junk mail was because anything the mailman brought in to our home back in Manila was special. Here…I used to painstakingly check out everything…now, I don’t feel bad about throwing stuff and not even reading. Most of the time you just look out for bills, your bank transactions that need to be mailed--like credit cards and your pin—or purchases you made online. There’s too much wasted paper still…yaiks! At least now that my daughter is into drawing and writing stuff she uses our scratch paper so she somehow knows how important it is not to waste paper.
Today, I was reminded by my hubby about how something so simple like the hand sign of the letter “L” could be read differently depending on the person’s background. Here it’s more a sign for “Loser” while back in the Philippines it’s “Lában” which I had to explain translates to “Fight.” Yes, I did some more explaining that it was also the party name used by the late former President, Corazon Aquino, who was the first woman president of the Philippines.
Later on my dad and aunt got into a discussion about the healthcare reform that President Obama is promoting. I was mostly a spectator of sorts but from my personal experience I can say that America has been great so far and there’s nothing wrong in trying something new to see if it can even be better. If not for medi-cal I don’t know how I could’ve had any health-care for my three pregnancies. With my last one I even got pregnancy related dental care. Not only do my kids have health care and dental care there’s also WIC (Women Infant and Children) that provide assistance by giving not only checks for some grocery stuff (milk, eggs, cheese, beans, juices, tuna, carrots, butter, cereal and fruits) but they also give support, advice, and they teach mothers about their health during and after pregnancy; just to mention a few. Shortly before I gave birth I also took advantage of two free classes. First one was for expectant mothers and the other for school preparedness for toddlers. Both were done in the convenience of our place, which was my option. I haven’t even mentioned the preschool my daughter got to attend. It was for free and lunch was even provided. Of course I just happen to be low-income , but what assistance would I have received in the Philippines?
Looking back to what the Philippines might have offered me…I don’t know. I watch the news more often now since my older brother came here and I’m just appalled that nothing has changed. And it’s sad that my dad says the political situation has been the same for far much longer than I think or know. Maybe things aren’t as bad now…my always positive aunt who came to visit recently says that things are better now. But I have so much resistance whenever my hubby says, “Why not just move back to the Philippines?” Of course I have more personal reasons than just political things. (Pardon my use of that word “just” but you have to understand my small world with three kids in tow) He might be tickled by the idea of having house help and cheaper houses but it is one thing to visit and another to live in a foreign country (Philippines would be the foreign one now). Can’t imagine how I’d feel now since a 2 month visit here back in 1996 gave me these reactions: “What’s with the traffic!!” and “Look at all the filth!”
Don’t get me wrong. We have traffic here, heavy traffic but not traffic jams or standstills like there is in Manila. There are also filthy parts here in Los Angeles but on the up side, the Philippines has breathtaking beaches that the ones around here cannot compare.
Of course, as adaptable as I am I have to think about my kids now. Sure winter can get harsh at times and summer as well (talk about weather!) but hey, did I tell you I love the local public libraries here, the farmer’s market and the parks??? I’m not even comparing the whole US of A it’s just California (CA) or let’s say just Los angeles or even my small Eagle Rock area. I think that’s fair enough since the whole Philippines is just about the size of CA. Back in Manila I can only remember Rizal Park. Here, within a 10 mile radius there are at least 5 parks (about double that for churches) that my kids can go to. When I think of the market we used to go to in Balintawak it reminds me of filth and foul odor (I guess those two somehow go together). Here, when I hear “farmer’s market” I think of free tasting of fresh, better tasting fruits (compared to most grocery produce), fun time for kids, kiosks of tempting food and just a great community feel.
I won’t mention personal experiences of my family that included theft/robbery in the PI (Philippine Islands) but just what’s up with that when it’s known to be this big time Catholic country? Oh, we do have problems here around the area. Gangs, and not so long ago, a car accident that hit closer to home…not alcohol related I believe but racing that took the life of 3 teenagers. Car accidents can get really bad here because of the high speed on freeways but just as common are vehicular accidents, here come the fire-storms that are so much part of the summer season that at times you forget the seriousness until it hits closer. I can only recall at least two incidents of fire in Manila but it had to do with either electrical wiring stuff or some accident. Those were close to home so maybe I just wasn’t as aware about what went on around me. I was a happy, oblivious school and relationship focused person who concerned herself with a much specialized community-the Adventist community and the music community. Maybe so, but I really don’t think we had massive firestorms since weather back home (ah, yes it is still my home) was very muggy or humid. I really didn’t know about that until all this dry CA weather got me to using some lotion. Lotion that we got tons of from my grandparents back here that I never really understood why they would send such useless stuff to us in Manila, that is, until I came here.
My day drew to a close --can’t really say it has ended can I? Since, I’m still writing at this late hour-- with me and my two kids walking back and forth to the mall to spend some time at Chuck E Cheese’s. Oh boy, I tell you, once you have kids you learn to speak up and stop being shy about many things. That topic is for another essay.
Lest I forget, one of the great prides of America, it’s the men and women in uniform. I can say that there is a high regard for those in the military and the law-enforcement here. I don’t remember having the same feeling for the Philippine counterpart. At least I didn’t see much of it like how I’ve witnessed it here. I’m pretty sure as small as my world was I would’ve noticed something like that.
So, I must close and simply pray: “America! America!
God mend thine every flaw,
Confirm thy soul in self-control
Thy liberty in law!”
To my country, the Philippines, I hope to be pleasantly surprised to find great things besides humongous malls and better dining.

California: My home sweet home!

To some of you California has been Gaylifornia because of the state's approval of gay marriages only to be turned over by Proposition 8 this past election. To me, it has become home. I still get a little choked-up though during Memorial day/veteran's day (can't seem to get the other holidays straight) when we sing "God Bless America." I'm not complaining much about winter now since I'm inside the house most of the time with the kids. But I must say that these four seasons is fun. You have something to look forward to...like spring :)

Let me tell you a little bit more about this place that I now call home. With my two lovely kids this holiday season was a blast. October we had Halloween, and as you may know Sophia and Elisha went trick-or-treating. It was Sophia's first time and she wore a Snow White costume that was handed down to her by a friend. Thanksgiving followed along with a bit less "family" this year since, after our church obligations (the two that mom and I serve in), we only met with the Coos, my dad's side of the family. Ah then there was Christmas...yes I have been decorating since my daughter was born in 2005. This time we had our quick stop over with the Coos and then off to Riverside with our Arevalo side of the family, mom's side.
Besides all the food and gifts, this year it was extra Merry Christmas to Angelenos because the LA Lakers won! 2009. New Year. What do we have? Yes there was still tons of food despite the economic crisis. We did more visiting with our elderly friends/relatives. What else do we have during this time of the year? We have the Rose Parade (lots of spectacular floats that utilize flowers and what-not…this year's theme was "Hat's off to Entertainment") and for the Tournament of Roses USC/the Trojans won! So, again we had an extra Happy New Year.
I did forget to mention the Annual Parade of the stars during Christmas and all the stuff that Hollywood brings to us whether through TV or Movies...Ah, yes we have those Award shows and shows that we look forward to that also start their new Season. But you know what? We have a new President that we're proud of and even though we have a bit of an economic problem that might affect even the tax returns (not sure about the terminology). There is so much to look forward to. And I'm in for another Season in my life.
Yes, I could look at the unpleasant stuff and disappointments that I've faced or will be facing but I must say that I'm quite happy with life. I'm happy about my little place here where I feel that I am doing my part in my own community and have two kids that are bringing so much joy in my life.
Yes, I feel more at home here now that I have been here in CA for 5 years (that includes my year here as a student). I can recognize freeways now; I've become more proficient with online stuff (Amazon, ebay and Craigslist). But I think when you start getting comfortable with your station in life; there comes this big wave that topples you over. It could feel like a big Tsunami that Floods your life but it also sometimes crashes in as a Tornado, or an earthquake; and at times it's this unpredictable fire storm that consumes you.
I had put this writing aside thinking that I don't know how to write what's really in my heart … when just the other day we had another earthquake. The kids were asleep and I realized later on upon watching the news that it was actually in San Bernardino 4.5 but I felt it here despite the long distance. Just imagine what a more intense earthquake would be like. Now, I’m just writing not even to express what seismic events go underneath me but to make me realize how much more there is to be thankful for.
This past week Sophia went back to school, our students had their regular lessons and I rehearsed with the Fil-Am Symphony Orchestra. I have a couple more performances (not that it ever ends) before I have another baby and…oh boy! Or simply, I’ll have another boy! Not sure how I'm going to deal with things this year. But I still don't give a heck over Credit Scores and such even though it affects a person's purchasing power. I still don't make a big fuss out of appearances (despite having been here in Botox-nation or Prozac to some). But, I must tell you how I love my little area here in Eagle Rock where I can walk to the Public Library, Farmer's market, and all the small stores surrounding our area. We also have an annual Music festival where whole blocks of our streets are closed down for musicians and what-not. Oh, some of you also know how I also walk with my kids to the mall close by where we have Chowking and Jollibee...of course the Seafood city where I get my pinoy junk food (unless we want to go to the Vietnamese store by car where it's cheaper).Goldilocks is also around, as well as Red Ribbon...there's also a place where you can borrow pinoy movies. Did I tell you that Barrio Fiesta is also around the corner alongside other pinoy eateries?
Ah, yes this is home mostly because my family is here and I see a lot of Pinoys. Despite how some fear the constant encounter with fellow pinoys, I revel in it. Besides, sometimes even people who live with you, you hardly see them. There is no such thing as too many relatives or what, because I must tell you that if not for all these festivities, I probably won't be seeing most of my relatives unless there is a wedding or funeral.
So, to all of you out there who can't seem to find themselves; or can't find a place where they can be a part of (in its full sense) I encourage you to make your little place in this world home...at least for now. "Until then" when we shall all meet our Maker and the puzzle of our lives will finally make sense.

A day to forget: Adventism that's memorable for the wrong reasons!

I want to start out by saying that I support and believe in the work of our Literature Evangelists. I just don't care for this particular approach that I experienced. This started out as an amicable day at church when I was approached by a couple who asked if they could be invited to our home. Now, knowing that they were Literature evangelists,I knew they would try to make me buy some products(kinda like annoying sales persons or telemarketers) but, I thought I'd give them a chance to state their case and then I could politely decline any offers. Besides, I thought that I should at least entertain them since I don't hesitate so much to let Jehovah's witness groups to come even if I know I don't particularly believe in their teachings and don't want to buy any of their literature.
You see, I happen to be the type who does not like to buy stuff. I would spend on food, internet and phone ( communication to the outside world) but books, clothing, and other stuff? I don't only think twice...well...maybe I don't even have to think about it since I just don't buy unless it is for my students or my kids...and that is still rare.
Anyway, when these two LEs(Literature evangelists) came to our house, mind you-an hour late from what we had agreed on, it started out as expected. Of course, during the initial presentation with the visual aid, I was already taken aback by what I saw. I was thinking "How can this be that our own group has a prehistoric/ outdated and unattractive presentation?" I acknowledge that I'm very much a critical person but I'm sure many of us have experienced and seen different presentations by groups that essentially work through networking. I've seen one on products that sell their line of household necessities, a company that is about insurance of sorts, another that tells you to make your own idea but have their mode of marketing and all sorts. So, all I'm saying is that I do have an idea of how great a presentation can be that even if you really don't have the means or don't even need something you might be persuaded to buy into the idea. I've sat through presentation upon presentation and have observed each person's talent but also the product's quality even only on the basis of the visual aid presentation.
Let's continue with the story. When it got to the point where it was "So which one would you like to buy?" I was ready with my "I'm so sorry but I don't need any of these." But then it went on to the point of being nasty. Yes, nasty is the word. You see,I decided after much prodding that out of the goodness of my heart I would donate an amount that I thought was more than what I'd normally dish out to a Jehovah's witness group. Not just double but four times more! It was because they're our own Adventist group. But instead of a pleasant response I got more bad comments. Sure, I understand that they're coming from the mindset: "We came a long way to be here and so we're going to get you to buy something." I wish I didn't hear those comments though that they made about how they've had better experience with non-adventists because unlike them(according to the couple) we,adventists,tend to think little of Literature evangelists while others would even entertain them as guests and feed them. That just got to my nerve. We had explained to them how as church musicians we really don't have the means that maybe those in the medical field would have. And even if we had money to spare,we already have tons of books! I don't have to point out to them that we don't monopolize the production of Christian Literature and we don't necessarily even have the best material out there. Let's just take the example of Bible stories for children or any other children's book/cd. Have they really looked at other products and seen how we compare? I wish our General Conference would take a closer look at the products we have and not just rely on the message we're giving but the quality. What about our 3abn? How do we compare? Our shows? Really, it is bad enough that most people still see us only as the weirdos who don't eat such and such and attend church on a different day. But to add to that our pathetic line of products and shows. We surely have the truth and tons of enlightened beliefs but we've got to up our over-all presentation. We're not suppose to judge a book by it's cover but we do judge We look at the packaging and sometimes even the label attached to the products we buy. Of course we look at the content, but if you can get a product with the same essential elements inside but with additioinal catch-eye features with no additional cost. I'm sure you'd get the one with everything in it.
Children don't need to be taught about good quality visuals..maybe about good values and such but they can tell which ones are poor quality(kinda like the study where babies gravitate upon beautiful faces).At this point I would normally make a suggestion but since I'm not into the field of visual arts I will refrain to make any ... I could say something about how we still need to improve on how we support our church musicians and our educational standards for music but that would be an entirely different topic.
I really hate putting down my fellow countrymen(the couple who came happen to be such) but I think that as a general view in life, if you believe so much in what you are doing the best route is to create your own company and be your own boss. If you keep working for someone else, whether the conference or your family's business, and keep having complaints about the work ethics or just about anything. Then maybe it is time to do something else. You can't make people buy what they don't want. You can only make them buy what they think they need. And if you have no talent in that area of convincing people to buy your product, then there is a problem because the world of marketing has grown so much. The internet is an area that has surpassed the effects of tv when it comes to consumer products. Online buying has gone to a record high. I don't need statistics to back me up. Just from my personal experience , being one who 4 years ago was not into buying stuff online, I can attest to the ease/ convenience and the high quality and yet low cost purchase that you can have. So I am guilty of having had some moments where my non-buying self got sucked into this" I can get it for cheap" mode where I didn't need a telemarketer or a sales persons to convince me to get something I really didn't need.
What then? I just hope that we start looking at ourselves and remember that "a sermon in shoes" is much more needed than what we can get from any book, tv show or any church event we might hope to attract others. Another thing is that if you meet a Seventh-day adventist that you don't like, don't generalize. Like any other family of believers, there are mature ones that exemplify Christ's example of true Christianity and some of us that continue to struggle with our baby-steps , who keep falling and are not able to express ourselves well. We all need to remember that Christ should be the center of our lives and it is He who is the only one we can truly believe in and trust to fulfill our every need and He alone will never leave us nor forsake us. Jesus remembers us even when we forget to remember the Sabbath day and become the very Adventists we preach against.

Yo, can you see?

For the past two articles that I've written some of you might have the impression that I've been singing the praises of America too much. In some ways I was because I believe in seeing the beauty in everything. This doesn't mean though that I'm unaware of the muddier state of this side of the world.I believe I have mentioned from time to time the excessive waste in paper. Sure, recycling is somehow advocated as seen in the garbage system but in my opinion, paper use here could improve.
It's really a general wastefulness that I'm not fond of.Even the most wasteful filipino here in the States is still frugal in nature. I've lived with well to do or better off Pinoys (those in the medical field) and they can't get out of the habit of washing plastic utensils and ziploc bags for reuse.They also are conscientious about how electricity is used although the water part has somehow gone unnoticed. This part is interesting since parts of the Philippines still don't have access to clean water. Even as a kid I remember experiencing water shortage in our area. Not sure how other people were but bubble baths weren't the norm in the Philippines. I'm guilty of having lavish baths for Sophia for a period of time but now we're doing the old fashioned "tabo."My daughter doesn't like me to say that she's going to have a shower, she says "only tabo." That only means I use a small container to get water from a small pail and use it to give her a bath. Urban dictionary mentions tabo as a bucket used for washing the ass(which I've taught Sophia...well, right now we still have to do it for her...that is wash her with water after "number 2)"
I believe I've mentioned also the squandering when it comes to food. This is a total hole in the head since even here what we often called in the Philippines "the modern Canaan with the greener pasture where there's milk and honey," many go hungry. You could see the bright side by mentioning the "soup kitchens" that many institutions(churches are in the forefront)advocate but that only means that there are many people here who are jobless, homeless and eventually go hungry. I've met people who know which days that the surrounding churches have for "free food distribution." It's a good thing that groceries like Ralph's, Trader Joes and such donate bread and other stuff for these church distributions but remember my daugther's preschool?A total waste of food everyday.Kids that they are, they don't eat much and therefore there's always food that go to waste. The teachers tell the parent volunteers that whatever the kids don't finish need to be thrown. One of the Filipina moms and I got to talking about this and how it's hard to teach your kids to finish their food at home when they're taught something else in school.
Back to the homeless people here, this must be hard to imagine for my "kababayans," but it's a sad thing that hunger is not monopolized by Africa or other poor countries like the Philippines. I've tried to do my part at times but I have my biases. Let me tell you why. First one is my experience with an old lady...I would always see her sleeping outside the bench near the park where we used to live. For some time I would run out and give her food(that time I only had maybe 3 irregular students), I would even microwave the meal before I gave it to her. But after I saw her smoking I stopped. Then not so long ago I was asked for money by this person(a bum would probably be a better description), I remember having given him a bill that was larger than what he was asking for. This was after I brought my, then two kids, to Burger King. Since we were close to BK and it was early morning, I thought he was going to get some food.He probably recognized me the second time when I was walking with my mom and two kids(with the baby on the way) and asked for a dollar. We had gone to Walgreens to get some diapers I suppose but it was too early so we headed out to CVS which is a bit more of a walk than Walgreens. To my utter disappointment, this guy who had just asked me for money was trying to get beer. It was an awkward feeling for me to be right behind him in line and the cashier was telling him he didn't have enough cash. I wish he saw me with my stone faced glare at him. I couldn't help but say out loud that I wouldn't dish out money to help someone's vice or maybe addiction. I guess my mom was the only one who heard that since loud for me is pretty much natural tone of voice for most.
Some extravagance I can forgive occasionally (celebrations like birth-days,weddings and such) but it still has to be within the person's budget. Now, I would have no idea if I were just a guest to some event but I personally would not spend so much...I guess despite my dad's impression that I spend a lot on eating out(I try to take my kids to something like Chowking or Jollibee once a week) I still think I am within my limits. If I earned more I still wouldn't double my trips for eating out although at times, for picky eaters like my daughter, buying something takes the stress out of feeding her. You just don't feel like cooking all the time,you know?
When it comes to money I am strict...at least I try to be especially when it comes to spending. Sure, I try not to make the same standard for others but if they end up asking for money...let's just put it this way, I work hard for the money that I have and it isn't much, I would like then to spend it wisely. Unless it is a life or death situation then it must be for something that is not a basic need.
Yes, I don't need surveys to tell me that finances is one of the primary issues that couples face or fight over. That brings me back to this country's budget crisis. The truth is I'm not big in trying to understand the details of government or political issues. I believe though that it's much better to spend on health-care than to spend it for war. It's an honor to be in the military and a great service to the country but I'd rather fight for diseases and such than causes that affect hundreds in a way where they lose their lives from gunfire or bombs.
I can't say much about this issue on health care reform and the war but I have personal experiences when it comes to credit cards. It's common knowledge here that before a student finishes college he or she already has so much debt. I've become more careful and discerning of advertisements that tell you you'll get a free trial or something free. Hear all that zero percent APR? or that $10 a month promo? Well, you've got to be aware that it's probably good for only a few months then you'll have to pay a much higher price.It's annoying why answering machines are not so much in use in the Philippines but then you cut down on all these tele-marketing messages that is prevalent here. Caller ID is very useful here but sometimes they still get me...those pinoy telemarketers that want you to switch to their company and use their service for calls you make to the Philippines. I wonder if these companies are truly Pinoy or they're just the ones who do the hard work. I'm aware that call centers in the Phillipines handle costumer service for many companies abroad. Anyway, I hope our Pinoy eldery ones are not among those whose life-savings have been depleted from credit card transactions. I also know about repossesion of houses...and personally I know about car repossesion. But then I know that it was never mine in the first place so they should just call it something else.
" Jose can you see???...the land of the freeeeee...and the home of the brave?"Bravery. US has some Messiah complex...helping out their "brown brothers" and trying to advocate this democracy in other countries. I don't want to elaborate on this ...out of fear but I will make a statement on the sad state of education. Not about how teachers are not doing their jobs but about how a great percentage don't learn how to read, write...and how getting a high-school dimploma seem to be "good enough." I don't have the best penmanship nor do I have a great hold of the english grammar or vocabulary but even the most intelligent people here ...ok,ok, maybe that puts into question how important those are. Well, having good handwriting skills or writing in general doesn't assure you of a successful career. It doesn't have anything directly related to money especially when we're more into computers and what with the "spell-check" feature.Can't quite get my thoughts on this one right now but I can safely say that more Asians or those with immigrant parents are those who succeed in school. The wave of music students in Juilliard when it comes to violin students can attest to this. Music, music supplies, musical instruments, music teachers are more accessible here but it must be the overload that kids get here that makes them lose their focus in school.
Well, this is all from my perspective as a woman, a mother...that is if that will explain anything to you since I'd rather have my writing simply read as something written by a person who has a personal view of America from her small place in Merton Ave. Hasta la vista!