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Mother’s day 2011
I really don’t need a day to remind me of what my mother means to me. Especially after becoming a mother myself, I must say, I have a better understanding of my dear mother. To most, she is “ate,” Ma’am coo, a good friend, grandma or Cora the great music pedagogue and music minister. To me she is simply mommy. Just thinking about how much she means as my mother brings tears to my eyes.
Let me tell you some memories as I try to illustrate, as best as I can, the blessings I’ve received from God, through this woman I call mom. One of my fondest memories is that of me falling asleep on my mother’s lap. I always thought mom was the strict disciplinarian though. I recall her trying to make us go to sleep for afternoon siesta which I never really liked. But I must say that I have an Oscar for that one. I really didn’t understand quite well why she wanted us to sleep when we could be playing outside but, starting high school, I wished I really slept then; and especially after giving birth to Sophia I realized how sleep really matters to a mother.
Mommy has taught me the importance of saving and earning a living. She gave us these index cards and taught us how to do check and balance for whatever “income” and expenses we had as kids. This was very handy since, when I became a student in Makiling, I was able to save the stipend we got from school and it also helped me as I managed our student coop (having been elected the student council treasurer). Although, it’s only now that mom is learning to be more straightforward and demand her rightful claim to unpaid dues. I know this because, before, she had this box of index cards with a bunch of names that listed the dues owed to her for piano lessons but after awhile she just simply wrote them off as “forgiven.” I’m afraid mine was not a forgiveness issue in our student Coop; I simply had a hard time refusing people who wanted to make “utang,” and kept adding up their debt.
That third year in high school I had the best grades but got really sick and couldn’t attend the graduation ceremonies. Mom had to take care of me…that time, I was thinking of how nice it was to be taken cared of by mom; but being sick is really not the best way of getting that beloved feeling from a parent. At least I don’t think I’m hard to take care of when I’m sick. But this is one of those sick days that I remember well and am grateful to have a mother like her.
I really didn’t pass through a very rebellious teenage years but I had a slow pulling away from church. So by the time I was 3rd year in college I only went to the “hour of worship” and sometimes missed church. This is very important to illustrate because one line mom likes to ask of us, her children and even others, is “Did you go to church?” or “How was church?” I had written an essay back in high school describing my mom as an angel. Who wouldn’t think that when she’s so devoted with her personal prayer and devotion? She bought me my “precious moments” Bible and back in my home-schooling years, my required reading included “Patriarchs and Prophets” plus countless missionary type books.
Finally, my rebellious side caught up with me, although I’d say it was more of a personal crisis that got me dismal grades in college as a junior. I started ditching classes and it just started a general downfall in my scholarly status. But thankfully, by this time, despite my lack of interest in church and shameful performance in school, mom’s example of Christian life was deeply ingrained in me. I still had Bible study groups and still sang with a choir and played the violin for church. I have no doubt that my mom’s prayers we’re probably bombarding God’s throne during that time.
I can only look back on how that period in my life would now look serene to what I put them (my parents) through after my graduate studies. But I’m getting ahead of myself. I haven’t even mentioned how my mom was my very first employer. Sure, it felt more like another thing I had to do for her at first…having to teach in Cavite (PUC now AUP). Imagine having to travel far, once a week, just to teach students who weren’t exactly motivated; when I could be doing the practicing myself for my own violin lessons! But, that taught me the value of earning your own living. I was proud of earning enough to pay for my own tuition. So, by the time mom had to leave for the US and help take care of her parents, it was no problem for me paying for all the utilities and just living the life of a musician. Life was good; I was even turning down gigs and teaching positions. I was pretty set in life despite my lack of strong church ties and it seemed like things were going smoothly.
But the lesson on the importance of family and the pursuit of higher learning was yet another thing my mom wasn’t done teaching me. So, I came here to the US, had to go through a difficult adjustment period to American life (in CA and MI). In High school I learned to live with other people but it was different having to live with relatives and family friends here. “Nakikitira” is quite different from being roomed together as “scholar ng bayan.” I remember how there was a time I wanted to live in a dormitory in UP (commuting is not very conducive for studies or violin practice) but I guess my parents thought my high school days were enough dorm-experience. Maybe my lack of passion for my vocation as a musician needed that refining through our Adventist institutions (after years of government schooling in Manila). And my mom would tell you how my transition to Andrews University had a clear sign of God’s leading in my life. I’m glad though to have that school as a common thread in our lives besides music.
My mom’s influence in my life is not limited to my musical life, although she’s had to be my accompanist even in College and even now. For a long time now I felt bad for having to be home-schooled my last two years in elementary. But, aside from being able to travel here in the US and focus on my music in elementary, my mom showed me her priorities in family. Since homeschooling my daughter I know that even though I get a bit impatient with her (which is very much unlike my mom), she’d still rather have me spending time with her than leaving her in a place with strangers. I’m glad mom took time off to spend more time with us and teach at home.
Mom may not be a domestic goddess but I would not trade her for anyone else. At least I know she’s really not an angel!J But she’s been very much like an angel to many of us as she has so generously and selflessly opened our Baesa home to many people. This is one of the qualities that I would like to learn more of. Sure, she didn’t cook for our guests or what but that welcoming attitude with no judgment endeared her to many and continues up to now. Another important lesson my mom has taught by example is that, no matter what circumstance you’re in, you can still help people. My mom is a benefactor to so many people, relatives or not, friend or not. But I’m sure she’d just say that it’s just “paying forward” because we are just as blessed with people who tirelessly help us and give us assistance.
I know how this piece is sounding more like a story of me, but that just shows how my life is nothing without mom. Sometimes God’s leading is more like mom’s leading. J I’m surprised that mom doesn’t accept all who request her to be friends on facebook. But I think it’s because it’s important to her that she really knows who these people are. Would you believe that she recalls more of her former students than I do? She’s a legend really; and not only will her influence be felt through my brothers and I in our music performances and teaching, but through the innumerable people from all walks of life who have been touched by her mentorship, benevolence and service to the greater community and beyond. I praise God for my mom who’s a living example of the kind of woman God intends each of us to be.
